I very much relate to this territory of erosion and the grief that comes with chronic illness. Mine provides me with all sorts of grief on a regular basis. It’s given me this feeling of not feeling strong enough to take on much more grief, I hope I grow stronger with time 💚
Thanks for sharing, Sheila. Grief is so weighty (coming from the Latin gravare, "to make heavy"). If we're already carrying a load, it's a lot to pile more grief on top. Francis talks about tending to our "vessels", our capacity to hold grief. Our vessles strengthen with community, with song, with ancestor work, with nature, with creative endeavours -- all the things that make life shine. Take care of yourself xx
I didn’t know that! Interestingly the word in Spanish for grief which is dolor which is the word pain too, I find it limiting. There are other words, and I found one that too means weight but not sure how much it’s used. I find the word dolor limiting, as yes it’s painful but it’s not just pain it’s much more complex, to make heavy feels much more descriptive.
Vessel strengthening is such a brilliant visual. I think indeed I need to focus on that, I feel like I’m a never ending project that needs complex support. 💚
Thank you for the wonderful conversation, I enjoy getting into nitty gritty chats. Especially ones that involve language 😊
Me too, language nerds unite! Tambien, no creo que la palabra "dolor" tenga la connotacion correcta. Nosotros necesitamos mas palabras, en espanol y ingles!
Depende para mi, a veces el español tiene palabras que me gustan más y otras veces el inglés. El inglés tiene un vocabulario enorme, pero no lo usamos mucho.
Soy mucho más dramática, directa y uso más las manos para hablar 🤣 El inglés es frío y tiene poca expresión, pasamos la mitad de nuestro tiempo tratando de ocultar lo que sentimos por ser “educados”.
My partner is the one with chronic illness, but I find your posts very relatable and helpful for me too. My grief is not as direct as his, but I still have it. Grieving for him as well as the life we expected together. The confusion as symptoms ebb and flow; trying to keep up with whatever phase things are in.
Thanks for sharing, Katie, partner and carer grief is really under-recognised. The helplessness of it too, I think, and the distance that can create. Wishing you and your partner joy amidst the sorrow xx
I've been exploring my grief so much this year in writing. Really looking forward to listening to this podcast episode when I feel able to. Thank you for all that you do with this newsletter. I have been shouting from the rooftops about chronic illness grief and it's incredibly validating to see others doing the same (and so eloquently haha, when all I have some days is a wordless scream).
p.s surrender is the freaking hardest but also the only way I've been able to keep going
Thanks so much, Jess, and hurrah for all the shouting about chronic illness grief, the more, the better! Sometimes the wordless scream is necessary... Yeah surrender, she's a tricky mistress! Hope my ramble about it on the pod makes sense. And the title makes me laugh everytime I see it :-)
I very much relate to this territory of erosion and the grief that comes with chronic illness. Mine provides me with all sorts of grief on a regular basis. It’s given me this feeling of not feeling strong enough to take on much more grief, I hope I grow stronger with time 💚
Thanks for sharing, Sheila. Grief is so weighty (coming from the Latin gravare, "to make heavy"). If we're already carrying a load, it's a lot to pile more grief on top. Francis talks about tending to our "vessels", our capacity to hold grief. Our vessles strengthen with community, with song, with ancestor work, with nature, with creative endeavours -- all the things that make life shine. Take care of yourself xx
I didn’t know that! Interestingly the word in Spanish for grief which is dolor which is the word pain too, I find it limiting. There are other words, and I found one that too means weight but not sure how much it’s used. I find the word dolor limiting, as yes it’s painful but it’s not just pain it’s much more complex, to make heavy feels much more descriptive.
Vessel strengthening is such a brilliant visual. I think indeed I need to focus on that, I feel like I’m a never ending project that needs complex support. 💚
Thank you for the wonderful conversation, I enjoy getting into nitty gritty chats. Especially ones that involve language 😊
Me too, language nerds unite! Tambien, no creo que la palabra "dolor" tenga la connotacion correcta. Nosotros necesitamos mas palabras, en espanol y ingles!
Yey! Love being a language nerd.
Depende para mi, a veces el español tiene palabras que me gustan más y otras veces el inglés. El inglés tiene un vocabulario enorme, pero no lo usamos mucho.
Exacto. Y estoy mas emocional en espanol, "mi corazon" etc etc... Ingles es muy frio y intelectual. Siento, no tengo el teclado espanol en mi laptop!
Soy mucho más dramática, directa y uso más las manos para hablar 🤣 El inglés es frío y tiene poca expresión, pasamos la mitad de nuestro tiempo tratando de ocultar lo que sentimos por ser “educados”.
My partner is the one with chronic illness, but I find your posts very relatable and helpful for me too. My grief is not as direct as his, but I still have it. Grieving for him as well as the life we expected together. The confusion as symptoms ebb and flow; trying to keep up with whatever phase things are in.
Thanks for sharing, Katie, partner and carer grief is really under-recognised. The helplessness of it too, I think, and the distance that can create. Wishing you and your partner joy amidst the sorrow xx
I've been exploring my grief so much this year in writing. Really looking forward to listening to this podcast episode when I feel able to. Thank you for all that you do with this newsletter. I have been shouting from the rooftops about chronic illness grief and it's incredibly validating to see others doing the same (and so eloquently haha, when all I have some days is a wordless scream).
p.s surrender is the freaking hardest but also the only way I've been able to keep going
edit: that pod title is genius
Thanks so much, Jess, and hurrah for all the shouting about chronic illness grief, the more, the better! Sometimes the wordless scream is necessary... Yeah surrender, she's a tricky mistress! Hope my ramble about it on the pod makes sense. And the title makes me laugh everytime I see it :-)